When rain rains

It is raining here at a time when winters were supposed to have arrived. This might be a welcome gesture of Mother Nature to receive winters in this part of the country. Clouds are intensely dark. They have enveloped the entire sky above our campus. Looking above gives a feeling that the world is going to end.

It now begins raining so hard, that I feel like going out and get soaked. But tomorrow is Diwali, and there is a fair chance of me catching cold. But these rainy winds are truly seducing, I feel as if they are calling me at the loudest pitch. And how unfortunate I am, I have to close the windows of my room today for the first time in this semester, that too when rain , my most beautiful gal friend is knocking my door. But as human, I also have erected walls to insulate myself from nature. The window when kept opened allows the rains to enter my room sousing my belongings. But I want to somehow capture these intense moments of the rage of Mother Nature. I try to capture it on the lens of the camera of my mobile, but rain doesn’t want anyone else to come between me and her, she souses the lens as well. God, I also want to be with her, but the price might be too high to pay, I am perhaps too weak for that. Perhaps that is why rain is so angry that her dearest lover proved to be so weak. I won’t say sorry for that will bring even bigger disgrace to our love. Only way I can capture this beautiful time is by writing.

About me : Part I : The person

I have been writing about others, about society, about happenings in the world, about movies, about culture about music… but this thought of writing myself descended upon me pretty late. Of course, this is not my age to write an autobiography, ‘coz I am just 22. Nor have I achieved any significant thing in life and I don’t have much experience of life either. But sometimes it’s nice to take a break from the hustle and bustle of life and think of one self. I want to think of what I want from life. What are my aspirations? And to add more to this philosophical air, I was recently asked by a friend of mine, what the purpose of life was.

It is always nice to think about oneself. Though for me thinking has always been something I spend my most time into. But the urge of seriously thinking about myself comes on me when I face interviews. The first thing they ask is to tell about myself. We all know that we are the best judge of ourselves. That we know ourselves the best. But we know a lot about us. At least I can speak about myself at length. But knowledge about oneself is so huge that I don’t understand where to begin from. What are most important things to say? The whole story boils down to thinking in an organized manner. After cogitatinf on self , I have kinda divided my description in three broad heads — Rajeev the person, then his two major loves of life : Music and nature.

Let me begin with food, I love home made food, because I never had much food outside. At home, I am not typical mumma’s boy who would eat ‘anything prepared by mom. I love chhole, rajma, chane, and any daal and aloo sabzi that is sour with heavy doses of tomatoes and spicy enough. I devour aloo pranthas, but I can’t have them much because of a growing tummy!! Then I love rice, dosas. I have a small hate list also. I don’t like tinde, tori, gheeya, idli . I guess that’s it. Otherwise I am quite comfortable with most food stuffs. I forgot to mention sweets. I love gulabjumans, rajbhog, gajar halwa, daal halwa, sohn papdi and I am sure many more that I can’t remember now. And yes, I relish the fancy stuffs too like chaat papdi, golgappe, raj kachori. The fried ones are kind of no for me these days for the fear of becoming a fatso.

Ok next comes clothes and grooming. Well this is one area where I can show huge innovation. I know how to wear even unusable clothes with grace. I don’t do expensive shopping much, but I do smart shopping. I purchase things that look like an original brand but actually it might not be, ‘coz it comes at a cheap price. Of course, when one has to purchase things which are to last long, for instance jeans, shoes and watch, then s/he should not mind investing in good brands and quality. In fact it’s not the brand, but the look of that stuff that appeases me. And as for quality, I don’t think I am qualified enough to distinguish between things on the basis o f quality. I love to design clothes myself also, because it makes them distinct. I have this natural urge to be different. I don’t feel satisfied when I look too much similar to rest all. My favorite color has always been blue, might be for my love for water. I like sober and elegant clothes and am quite comfortable with cool dude kinda stuff also. For ties, I feel the simpler the better. There are some issues that I disapprove in dressing up. Not tucking the shirt in when worn over a trouser is a big NO for me. Similarly wearing sport shoes over pants is something I find odd. I am quite uncomfortable in seeing nails grown even a bit, be it with me or anyone else. I don’t like very shiny belts. I am not much into using hair gels for the fear of losing my hair which have already started showing the signs falling.

Next entertainment. I like sensible cinema. I like movies whether Hindi or English that show some logical story close to reality and not sticking themselves to fantasy. Of course I love films that also treat me with wonderful music. My kind of movies would also include those that show plenty of nature, visual effects, real lives and places and dialogues that I can connect with. So I liked the movies Kya kehna, A Beautiful Mind , Life is beautiful , Umrao Jaan, DDLJ, Sholey, Lakshya, Pardes, Mixed Doubles infact all Konkana Sen stuffs (No, I am not art film type guy), Dil To pagal hai, , Matrix I (hate to admit that I haven’t seen the rest two), LOTR. Sound of Music, October Sky , most of Yash Raj films, and many more. And ofcourse all the comedy stuff .. not to forget the Hrishikesh Mukherjee’s storehouse. As for TV shows , I am crazy about FRIENDS. I was passionate about Hip Hip Hurray when it used to be aired on Zee. I also loved Hum Paanch, Khichdi , Sarabhai vs Sarabhai, Tu Tu Main Main, Shriman Shrimati.

Books and reading: I haven’t read much though I always wanted to read more and more. So I don’t have as such any particular taste. But I like comic stuffs. I love to read real stories and news analysis. I particularly loved Bapsi Sidhwa’s ‘An American Brat’, RK Narayan’s Swami and his friends. Sunday Magazine of The Hindu has been my favourite because of the gamut of knowledge and information it gives on variety of issues – dance , music, wildlife, health, personalities , events, history and a plethora of other topics.

Sports : I like basketball from my school days or may be from the time when Kuch Kuch Hota hai was released. But I remember I attended the coaching even before that!! I have been trying hard to learn the game for a very long now, but could not learn it properly, sometimes I feel that I should give up, dunno till when I can continue with something I constantly fail to achieve. I find athletics also very enjoyable. I have been involved in high jumps, long jumps, but one thing that really gets my adrenaline pumping is footrace. There’s nothing more exciting than the challenge of race.

Next people. This is a serious area. I like people who love laughing and smiling and who can bring good cheer on the faces of others. Because I am myself that kinda guy. I enjoy chatting with my lovely friends and making them laugh and smile. I strongly believe that smile makes even the ugliest face beautiful. I hate when I find people serious and unable to share the reason for the same with me. Similarly I am quite uncomfortable with people who stay silent. Seeing smiles on the faces of the people who I care for gives me immense pleasure. As usual, I love innocent people. I can tolerate some attitude, but arrogance is just not compatible with me. If some one tries to show attitude to me, then s/he should be ready to know the height of my nose. I love simple, down to earth and hardworking people. I respect successful persons. Intellect is the first thing I notice in any person I get in touch with. Of course, from a distance, it’s the looks and cleanliness that attracts me. People talented in anything attract me like magnet. I am a bit crazy in the sense that if I find someone not compatible with me, I snap the ties off permanently. OK this could be a weakness of mine. Finally, I like the company of people who share the interests I have, who can appreciate and understand things I like.

I am myself …. . ok I will have to be a bit narcissist here, slightly complicated person in the sense that it’s not easy to understand me. Of course I am not proud of this fact and in fact I am my self trying hard to understand what I want in life, where to draw a line between my desires and my aims. Ok now to make things simple, I am, I feel, emotional (but I won’t be any more very soon, I am gonna be very strong), shy (ironically, I have never been scared of stage, I enjoy performing more than applauding in the audience) , caring… that’s it.. I can’t write more than this. This it self took my nerves to admit in public!!! And apart from this I am a hardworking guy, who is not scared of labor. I always believe in being straightforward without formalities, in having courage to call a spade a spade and in appreciating people for their good deeds. Thouhg I am quite with individuals, but like Tughlaq, my weaknesses include difficulty to deal with a group.

About me : part II : the mother nature

My love for nature has been here since very long. The morning and evening sun fills my heart with divine thoughts. Morning sun brings with it the hopes. That nothing hasn’t changed in the big scheme of things. Nothing is lost. And bathing in the orange of dawn has its own pleasure. Also, after days of rains or after lots of dark winter days, a bright sunny day is a blessing. It brings shine on my face and positive energy in my soul.

Another thing that I love about nature is water. Mere sight of water brings to my senses, the sounds of santoor and sitar. In fact for me, music and water ( you can read rains ) have always been inseparable. Sight of one brings the thoughts of other. The music of santoor feels like tinkling with water. Be it waterfalls or rains causing ripples on water or a silent river or mighty water of a furious river gushing out ferociously, they all bring plenty of joys for me. My heart swells with joy on seeing rains. The fragrance of excited soil of earth just before the rains pleases my senses. The sounds of thunder and lightning send sweet bells ringing in my ears. In fact water of all sorts particularly, the large water bodies are very mysterious and thought provoking figures. I have spent 4 yrs of my life near the mighty Brahmputra, though it is silent here near IIT.

Now when I am counting the elements of nature, I must not miss sky. I like mainly dark sky full with black and scary clouds. That could be attributed to my love for rains. A cloud less sky looks like barren that has nothing to offer. Sky also looks majestic and classy when it takes pride in showing off its star studded clothes in the night. On a summer night, it’s a great thing to just lie down under a starry sky and observe it or talk to friends or siblings.

I feel completely spellbound to see snow covered alps that I saw in reality in Austria. I get the same feeling to see hills capped with clouds which are a regular phenomena here in Assam during rains.

Next, I love flowers and greeneries. Flowers I feel are next the best creation of god after kids. Flowers carry with them so much of feel good factor. And best thing about them is that they all have their unique place in our senses. Though I haven’t known and seen many varieties of flowers myself, but I feel delighted to see even a wild but beautiful flower. Because it’s not the name of flower that matters, but the beauty it reflects that pleases. Sunflowers are one of my favorites. They look so beautiful and hopeful when they look at sun.

I also feel very relieved and happy to see greenery. Dense green forests and trees, lush green foothills and countryside – they all look beautiful. I love to see them early in the morning, particularly in the winters when fog is in the backdrop and their leaves are having small water droplets. A carpet like green grass is also soothing to my eyes.

One would notice one common feature in most of my interests above. They all have elements of innocence in suitable proportion. I like anything that is innocent. For this reason, I like goats and cows. I haven’t seen much rabbits though. Goats are so cute; they just don’t raise their eyes. Even if they do it, they do it so coyly with sheepish smiles in their eyes. Sometimes some dogs also do it. I don’t like many animals. Partly because of the fear of being hurt. And also, some of them are very untidy. But for me innocence is the top priority. At times my heart goes out for even an unclean kid if s/he is innocent enough.

Finally to complete the list, against all norms of being a man, I do love kids. I feel they are the most beautiful things in this world. They are so innocent, like clay. They don’t have any country, language, caste or religion, or any such bias. These things might sound cliché but these are the things that make them so unique and so lovable. They don’t give a damn to any one in the world. They won’t be frightened even if Hitler stands before them. Sometimes I fell so small and insignificant when I am ignored by kids!!

Lakshya

Watchin lakshya makes my heart goin out again for Indian Airforce. The places they operate in are simply awesome. The film has just started, they are showing so beautiful and towering mountains. But for the first time this thought came into my mind that I can see those beautiful places even if I am not in Force. I can go to those places during vacations! Really I can go there with my family and friends anytime. So I should start loving and respecting a civilian’s life as well.

Movie is pretty nice. The valleys and mountains and b’ful rivers that were shwown were scintillating. Acting of Amitabh Bachhan , I found , was gerat after a long time. I really wanna have the discipline of Defence Forces in myself. I really liked the elegance and grace they carry with themselves. Their gait is also awe-inspiring. They are so much full of etiquettes.

The song ‘main aisa kyun hoon’ is done with so much iof innovations. The contrast of black and white went really well. Hrithik’s dance is as usual very good.

But the acting quite nice. So was not that of Preity Zinta. She moves her body a lot. Hrithik always looks like that autistic child he played in the other movie. Even non-serious roles can be done normally rather than behaving like a child.

The second half of the movie where hritik and zinta take their own paths of lives
was quite matured. They really acted sensibly. Best part was the less use of words and judicious use of backgroud music. They worked more through silence and through their body language and facial expressions , rather than just delivering dialogues
as in most of hindi movies. The visuals were beyond my expectations. It was like I was watching LOTR. So high mountains . I wonder if in reality they climb such mountains. And how would they be doing in dark. The movie did not have one hero. Like RDB, every character was the hero in itself. This was one of the fewest war movies I loved. It was not just a love story. Not just the transformation of a confused soul into a responsible guy, not just about courage and passion of Defence
personnels. It was a perfect blend of all. The transition from one of these forms to the other was very smooth. Really gud cinema.

About me : part III : music meri jaan

There are quite a few things that I derive pleasure from, but in those things I find immense joy. So may be total measure of pleasure remains a constant!! My heart really swells with joy when I listen to very good piece of music, particularly Indian Classical music. Even closest people in my life don’t believe in my penchant for music, my brother himself teases me by telling that he can give me competition in singing!! My love for classical music goes back my childhood. I don’t now why but even as a child, I would be attracted to classical dance and music. I remember one incident when I was probably in class 8, and a show of Indian classical dance was aired on Zee TV for the new year bash, and my sister switched the channel to Star plus because that was showing performances by film stars. And I got upset and left the room. In the morning, I told my sister,”apni sanskriti bhi nahin samajhte”!! Today, when I think of this incident , I can only laugh and smile. This think was indeed unfathomable with regard to a 12 year old boy. I hardly knew the difference between Bharatnatyam and Kuchhi pudi or for that matter between sitar and sarod!!

But things have changed today, over the years I have been listening to variety of music. Now I can identify people like Pt. Ravi Shankar and Ustad Bismilah khan by names and by faces too. Even though I have never touched a sitar, veena or santoor, but still I can distinguish between them when I listen to them. I can almost always identify the singer if it is Lata Mangeshkar or Asha Bhonsle or any known voice or the one that I have been listening to and I like. I love singing as well. I may resemble Sweety of Hum Paanch serial in the sense, that the way she would open the door of her home always with a song, I also take bath with variety of songs, which invariably include Vandematram and Mile sur mera tumhara. So people staying around my room get this feeling that they are having a distorted version of DoorDarshan around them!!!!

If all this is not my love for music, what else is it then? I also like non classical stuff, including Bryan Adams, pop music, and film music as well. In fact, most of the times, I like to listen to sitar that plays the tune of some good song that I have heard , may be in some film or elsewhere.

I like dancing as well as is reflected from above, but I have seen very less of classical dance or any dance for that matter because such things are not kept much on our LAN of our IITG, as these things aren’t quite cred. But still when I listen to good dance music , again particularly classical, then I feel the vibration of my feet, I start dancing with steps that I feel are good. I at times feel that I am more of a performer than an audience. Whenever I see a good performance, then this thought in my mind of appreciating the performer is as intense as the feeling of going to the stage and doing the same performance myself.

Mixed doubles and School


The 2 good movies i watched today. Well good is a relative term. Even for one person, the same movie feels good in one frame and sucks in another. But both the films were good time pass, reason being they are not the regular hindi movies with the same old crap of cheap humor or skin show or some stupid tune of emotions and related crap. Mixed Doubles had very earthen feeling, ‘coz acting of all the characters was very natural. I could very well find similar dialogues in our daily lives during my stay in Delhi, particularly those of Naseer and his wife!! I hardly felt I was watching movie. It was enjoying seeing the arguments between the parents of Konkana sen. Though Konkana sen and his husband formed an urban couple, but I guess I have similar ones , I could relate to them. Their son was again very much like I would find in my uncles’ homes. All in all nice movie.

School. God it tried to take me back to school days, or to my future. The scholl was an Airforce School. Again here the acting was pretty good. Don’t remember the name of the principal, but it seems he does very nice work, and has really refined himself as an actor over the time.

I guess now I can generalize that low budget movies are the ones that are liked. Atleast for me, this generalization does hold true.

India in the western veil

These days ,Indian companies make it a point that they have pics of non-Indians in their advertisements,billboards, posters etc.. One can only speculate their intentions behind this non sense. They may be doin this to attract people, thinking that Indians have always been attracted to fair skin or to foreigners (coz some of them are Africans or American blacks as well), so this will make their ads eye catching. But they often say that that they want to show off some kinda diversity in their employees and clients, that they are serving people from all over the globe , that a substantial percentage of people working in their company are non-Indians. But those guys forget that majority of them are Indians. The Times of India and the Economic Times always ensure that their articles somehow contain a pic of non Indian thing even if that thing has got almost zero relevance to that article. I am not chauvinism or xenophobic, but I am Indian. Globlalisation is indeed the order of the day , but forceful globalisation and blind aping and appeasement is not.

Quote Unquote

Refelections of my thought process.

“har kisi ko chahiye hamari zindagi ke hisse, per hum banna chahe junke woh na samajh paye ye kisse”

“Kisi ko itna bhi naa apnaayiye ki fir tanhai bhi apni na rahe”

“Sensing a sense of satisfcation after a war is senseless”

“‘And they lived happily ever after’ is a fact of fiction only”

“If an for an eye will leave everyone blind, then two eyes for an eye will save your other eye”

“Humanity is religion”

—- Rajeev D Gupta

Does India remember it’s a sovereign country?

The Indian constitution declares India to be a sovereign state. But every time Pakistan fiddles with India, India turns its poor face to west(read America) craving for a certificate certifying that what Pakistan did was incorrect. Then Indian ‘national dailies’ give headlines- ‘America condemns acts of terror and shows solidarity with India’. I have rather started hating the word ‘condemnation’. Just ‘SPEAKING’ against the terrorism will not end it. We’ve gotta ‘ACT’ against it. Did not US give an answer to Iraq after 9/11? Did he ask for anyone’s opinion in that? If President Bush says that Pakistan should stop terrorism, will that bring back the lives of people killed in the Mumbai blasts. Why is The Times of India celebrating PM manmohan singh’s ‘success’ at G8 summit? All those countries have paid a lip service to PM Singh. What is so big to be happy for? It’s only natural to say we hate terrorism. Even Pakistan will also say that they blasts were heinous crime and they are also sending condolence message. But what good is all this for ? For how long should we continue to suffer because of weak government international policies. India is investing millions of dollars in defense. Can not that defense power be used to save our countrymen from the terror of blasts? How long should India exchange dialogues with Pakistan. Can we not give a befitting reply to that country once n for all. If an eye for an eye leaves every one blind, then two eyes for an eye can save our other eye. It’s high time that India should shed off it’s softness and show some symbol of strength rather than showing impotency when faced with terror strikes.

Now security is being beefed up in Maharashtra and other places in India. The cry will be silent in few days. The main page news will slowly fade away in darkness. Case against suspected criminals will be kept pending in the wonderful courts of India. And again another series of blasts can injure another city then. Why the hell this beefed up security not the normal level of security in India? Why we take actions (that too weaker ones) only after casualties?

Natalie Raps

A day in the life of Natalie Portman.

This rap just rocks : Natalie your are a crazy chic
Shut the f*** up and suck my d***!!

Natalie we all love you,
Shut the f***up
I will f***u too!!

Natalie what you want natalie
to drink and fight
wht u need natalie
to f***all nite